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Ridiculously Over-complicated Recipes

As in when someone has a version of a well-known food item but their version is way more complicated than your way.

I’ve got old episodes of “Good Eats” on in the background, and his chili recipe is ridiculous. Imma ignore that it has no beans, because I know some people swear there’s no beans in chili.

This one is near and dear to my heart, as I make a mean chili and the key factors for chili-making are (1) not expensive ingredients, (2) not making a fuckton of dishes, and (3) not much effort - like you aren’t stuck working over the stove that long to make it.

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Alton Brown’s:

1. you had to chop dried chile peppers and make your own chili powder (with 3 different kinds of dried chiles!)

2. meat component was a mix of chopped beef, pork, and lamb (Not criticizing using chopped meat instead of ground beef/turkey, just expecting people to buy 3 different meats is rude. I can’t even find lamb at the 2 grocery stores nearest me.)

3. meat had to be cooked in stages — seasoned and oiled the raw cuts of meat, then cook off in batches. So making 2 additional dirty mixing bowls and having to fuss with it. Also, what the fuck, man. Just cook off your onions and garlic and then cook the meat in the pot with seasonings. Why jump through these hoops!

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4. then came out the pressure cooker (this was optional, or you could use a dutch oven and cook it 6-24 hours!!!)

5. and he used crushed tortilla chips to thicken it. I don’t recall ever needing to thicken my chili, oh wait that’s because I can cook with the lid off the pot and evaporation helps me out.

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It was just such a fussy and involved recipe, when we always make chili in the sens of “eh, throw your stuff in the pot and come back in an hour to a delicious dinner” and this was a lot of active time.

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