The first man I ever loved, my dad, died very suddenly during my teenage years and my mom later found out he had left us financially fucked. I had a typical string of dating experiences, some good, some bad, one really, really bad (a two-year relationship with spates of abusive behavior and a lot of fighting). Since then I never trusted anyone fully, and lashed out with a lot of anger when I felt unhappy or suspicious.

I am marrying the only man I ever had any real trust for, and those issues are still bothering me. Somehow treating me with respect and kindness, planning to move several states over to be with me, and giving me a century-old family ring while on one knee has not prevented me from getting nervous when he says he's on good terms with his exes or that he's going to a birthday party.

It's me - I know it's me, and not him, even though we've had our problems - because the same damn thing has happened in every relationship I've been in, regardless of who the guy was or what he did or how he treated me. I have no money or time for therapy anymore and I've been in and out of it for quite a long time. It has been 12 years of dating people seriously and nothing helps. I'm happy most of the time but then I get the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, an unjustified terror that this person who loves me is lying and secretly on his way out.

ETA: Definitely did not thing rings led to perfect, magical relationships, but maybe that trust issues would die the fuck down when the man you love announces to everyone he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and makes huge sacrifices to do so.