I’m in between therapists (I didn’t feel much rapport with the last one, and scheduling/getting to the office was problematic) am having issues finding one that takes my insurance and has an office/availabilty that works with my commute and my schedule.
I keep manically bouncing between “this is fine and everything is going to be okay” and “I’m going to get fired, we’ll lose the house, and my daughter will see what a failure I am.”
My last round of medication was a failure for me, I was on Lexapro for several months, felt lethargic and sad all the time and put on 15 pounds (pounds I’d worked very hard to lose) so I’m feeling very much against just asking my family doctor to prescribe something.
I honestly wish my boss would just fire me so that at least I wouldn’t have to keep up with this two hour commute every day and could let go of the dread that it’s coming. I really feel like the money issues would be less stressful than the situation I have now.
All of this is on the heels of LadyK being unemployed for several months at the beginning of this year, and my health issues from late summer (Two cardiac stents put in to clear major blockages.)
I feel like I’m drifting without any control of my life or my emotions and I’m sad and scared.