I wish I could hibernate all through the winter like a bear.

I had one of the best summers of my life this year (because I started a new job, which I love), but all of a sudden it's dark and cold all the time and antidepressants aren't enough anymore. I just can't stop crying today. Suddenly everything feels impossible. The worst thing about depression, for me, is the fact that it's like my shadow—never fully gone. Always there, lurking. It's been there off and on since I was fourteen, and I'm terrified that if I have my own children I'll just pass it along to them (or get PPD, or both).

Ugh, I'm sorry for this stupid self-involved bummer of a post. I'm just having a rough day and it just makes it worse to think that things will probably continue to go downhill until next May.

UPDATE: thanks so much to everyone who responded! You guys rock, you really do. Your support seriously makes me feel so much better, so hugs to all of you!