Did you have breakfast? You really should. Gossip works better on a full tummy.

Unless this bothers you. And if so, sorry.

Yeah. It's the dude from Maroon 5 being all almost naked. Behati Prinsloo, his fiance, Instagrammed this. I think I like her. She captioned it with

70's porn called. It wants it's vibe back. Immediately.

Behati is 24 and is from Namibia. Her mom runs a B&B and her dad's a minister. Why do you need to know this? You don't. I just think it's cool.

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Aaryn (not Aryan, but it fits) got kicked off of Big Brother. This is the racist lady who told Candace (the African-American contestant) she wouldn't be able to be seen in the dark and told Helen (the Asian-American contestant) to go make rice. She got fired from her job and later bleached her asshole on TV.

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But during her eviction interview she pulled out the "don't stereotype me as racist southerner" excuse (I call this the reverse Deen).

“Being Southern, it’s a stereotype,” Aaryn started. “If I have said some things that have been taken completely out of context and wrong…. I did not mean to ever come off racist.” Cue the first burst of in-studio guffaws. “That’s not me,” she continued, “and I apologize to anyone I’ve offended.”

Julie Chen is a fucking boss. She didn't get angry, didn't slap her, just calmly told her that she has a unique opportunity to go home and watch hours of footage of herself, and that she thinks and hopes Aaryn has a new perspective of herself.

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There are conflicting reports about Farrah Abraham being on Days of Our Lives (that's the one with Sami and Hope and Bo and an hourglass). Some places are saying she's got the part, others are denying it. I dunno what's what, but I can point you toward the audition tape. Apparently it was shot before her porn—excuse me, leaked sex tape.

Bad, but still not as awkward as Sami trying to sell you Chex Mix. Which is stupid 'cuz that shit sells itself!

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I know most of you have their special app, but just in case you didn't get to check your phone, I'll spoil it for you. Kevin Jonas and his wife Danielle are having a girl. And why, yes, they did release a weird MS Paint ultrasound.

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I never followed the Jonas Bros but I guess they have a show? Which doesn't bode well for their marriage...reality shows and happy marriages don't mix. Remember Britney and Kevin: Chaotic? Clint and Dina Eastwood's show? Whitney and Bobby? Jessica and Nick? All of the Real Housewives?!?!


George Clooney's ex is dating again.

Looks like Harry Connick Jr said no. American Idol can't find a 3rd judge...$10 says they bring back Randy.

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The host of Singled Out who believes in vaccines will be hosting the finale of Futurama...no seriously, I didn't just make that up.

Here's the Scandal season 3 promo.

JLo's mad at Casper.

Justin Timberlake would like to be the Riddler? Sounds bad, but then if you imagine the Dick in a Box guy, it actually seems like a movie I'd watch.

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And I live in New England, so probably only 2 more weeks before winter. This is your morning wake up!

Special shout out to Chritter for making me remember the Bangles.