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Saturday Pity Party!

Come join me in being pitiful!

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My right hip has been all achy for days. Clearly, I have bone cancer.


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Yesterday, I stepped on a loose stone funny and fell and skinned my knee. I will soon have gangrene and need my leg amputated. Also, hydrogen peroxide is sting-y.


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I'm unusually tired and sleepy lately (I didn't wake up until noon today. Not, I slummed in my bed until noon. I DID NOT WAKE UP until noon.) Clearly, the bone cancer is killing me. It's probably already metastasized to my bone marrow and blood and I'll be dead soon.


My great-aunt was a paranoid schizophrenic with hypochondria. Since the above proves me a hypochondriac, the schizophrenia can't be far behind. (That's some meta-hypochondria-ing right there. I think I deserve a gold star.)

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