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Schwyzer, Chris Brown, and Abuser Blame Deflection

Yesterday's Schwyzer Twitstorm is the first time that he said that his critics saw right through him, that he was being manipulative and trying to pull one over on us as his way of life. But some people here wanted to defend him on the grounds that a suicide try is a sign of real mental illness and seems like remorse, that maybe we should be nice to him if our behavior is driving him to suicide. And some of us said, no, it's not remorse; it's manipulation. It's abuser mentality. He's just blaming us for his suicide attempt to try to make us be nicer to him but in reality, his actions ruined his marriage and then he tried to kill himself, just like he did before we knew he existed.

So why did some of us see the attempt as manipulation? Because this is how abusers behave: they blame anyone but themselves. Case in point, Chris Brown just blamed his seizure on exhaustion caused by the media and other people being mean to him.

Chris' rep says the seizure was triggered by "intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress, both due to the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the nonstop negativity."


Then there's Charles Saatchi's "I didn't choke Nigella but she choked me too" and it's her fault I'm divorcing her because she didn't defend me to the press nonsense.

Now look back at the Florida case where the man pulled a gun on a woman, then shot her "in self defense" because she fought back. He posted to Facebook that he killed her because he was tired of the abuse. What abuse? Well, trying to leave him and defending herself is what seems to constitute that abuse right now.


So back to Schwyzer: he kept saying he was leaving because of the people criticizing him, "look what you're making me do! I'll really leave!" Then he made a mild suicide threat in his last interview, to which people responded "just don't try to kill your wife in the process this time." Then he tried to kill himself using an ineffective means and called the press with one of his limited phone calls from his 5150 hold to say "this is because feminists are so mean to me. See what you made me do?"

See what you made me do.

ETA: Schwyzer and the others do need mental help and in Schwyzer's case he is getting it, thankfully. However, part of what they all need is to have people stop buying this reasoning. We did not make anyone destroy his marriage. We did not make anyone have a seizure. We did not make anyone divorce. Those actions are on the speaker, not us. We did not cause their behavior issues; those issues predate us.

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