I clicked on this expecting the worst. However, it’s a great example on how we need to continue the push for enthusiastic consent, and how rape culture affects everyone. Also, it’s a good example that even if you had the best of intentions, you can still cause trauma to another person.
This was my favourite passage, which is about victim blaming:
Even if what he did was purely a case of misreading the signals, a victim can still be traumatized by it. If you’re a guy and find yourself sneering at this, picture yourself in the same situation — not as a woman, but as yourself. Say you’re hanging out with a friend who happens to be a much bigger, stronger guy. You’re having a good time, you fall asleep in the same room with him, only to wake up with his hand down your pants. Maybe he’s doing more than that, if it helps you get the picture. Even if he just badly misread the signals, does it make you feel less violated?
I liked how “Tim” is a real person who fucked up. He’s not a monster, but the guy next door who misreads your signals because our culture encourages us to NOT talk to each other. And also that Tim is apologetic - he realises what he did was wrong. He’s a good example that perpertrators, when they acknowledge their crime, need some sympathy and understanding as well (NOT from their victim mind you, but from a seperate source of support).