Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

Today in Fluter Fuckups ...

I teach a general music course to non-majors. It's not always their favorite course and they're often not happy to be there. By now, you guys know my temperament makes it difficult to put up with bullshit, but you also know I prefer to have a good time.

This semester, I think I finally have a good balance of, "No, seriously, you need to learn this shit," and, "I know you don't want to be here, but I really love the content and look at thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis."

So today we talked about the Renaissance and vocal music, and a little thing called a madrigal. ("It's a secular work for 3-4 voices, and is usually just sung poetry!") Except what the students don't realize is that when dude is singing, "The white and sweet swan lay dying," he's not singing about a bird. (Or, as one student suggested, murdering his girlfriend. Although: morbid!)

They were so, so, so grumpy this morning, and after a week of bad days, I was determined to be ridiculous. We didn't have time to talk about the whole madrigal, so I just introduced them to the first line. White = purity. Swans = beautiful. "That ain't no swan! That's his lady friend! And just a hint, when she dies, singing, he doesn't mean a little tune!"

And then I heard myself say, "Ok guys. So they're dying together. And so is her whiteness. Put your head in the gutter. Oh. Yup. There it is. So on Monday, we're gonna talk DIRTY SEX POETRY. Have a good weekend!"

Per usual, I turned around and the door was open.
My boss's office is a few doors down.

This is why I'm an adjunct.


Share This Story

Get our newsletter