To everyone who went back to school after Christmas embarrassed at how little you received from Santa (but was too little to understand why!), I feel you. I really fucking feel you.

I know that this is about the commercialism of Christmas, and consumerism and materialism and all kinds of terrible isms. But it is also about a little kid feeling inadequate.

Full disclosure: I most definitely did NOT grow up in poverty. For the first 10 years of my life or so, we were simply on a very tight budget all the time, and I went to school with Richie Riches. So I thought Santa didn't like me.

I felt like shit around Christmas, as a result. I dreaded returning to school and everyone listing off their bounties. If I had simply KNOWN that it was my parents - I was well aware we weren't Richie Riches and it didn't hurt me - instead of a god-like gift giver who judges my naughty or niceness, I would have been fine. I was used to the off-brand clothes and my brother was used to his hand-me-downs and we were too little to know that we should be ashamed. It was that an all-powerful, super generous, jolly man was watching over us, and he was only half impressed.


I feel like this is all directly related to me rejecting Christianity in later years!

I tried SO GODDAMN HARD to be nice. I focused on it all year. I was such a goodie two shoes. I did so many chores. I made excellent grades, never got in trouble at school. Yet Santa still deemed me unworthy of much. I never even brought that up because I did not want Santa to think I was ungrateful, because I wasn't. I was just confused.


It was about so much more to me than the actual material goods. It was watching those around me really score big, knowing that I was still Not Good Enough.

So anyway, I want to open up the floor to ideas here. We have have any Groupthink Spawn who may be looking forward to a Shitty Santa Claus year (or hell, if they don't believe but will still have a disappointing Christmas), I would like to start a Shitty Santa Claus Drive.


I am not Richie Rich now, either, but I have no kids and not even any in my family, so I am more than capable of buying a gift or two to beef up under your Christmas tree.

I know we are doing a whole lot of donating around here lately, and I know that can be a big burden on some of us creatures of the modern economy, so I do not want to pressure anyone.


Edit: If you would like to receive from us, I think the best way might be to post an Amazon wish list? I know we have worked with that in the past. I will update this post as needed and get the ball rolling. I am not actually Super Great At Computer Stuff so if anyone has a better idea let me know.

Edit: Just wanted to give another link to the GoFundMe page for KillerMartinis' dental surgery!


Edit again: And the Groupthink Emergency Fund page where a different recipient is chosen monthly!