Well, I’m getting married. LOL.

TL;DR up here cos I go on a bit below... the gist is I need a simple white dress that fits Christina Hendricks/UK size 12/boobs not size 12 while not being too in-your-face.

LONGFORM: Herr honk and I decided that given present circumstances, this is the most obvious and straightforward way that we’re going to be able to stay together, given the state of migration in the world these days,and it’s the only way that comes with a guarantee. (Migration is fucking stressful, literally to the point that a facebook post about the Tory government trying to restrict it will give me crippling anxiety for days, and I’m a privileged white straight person from a middle-class background with a PhD. You better fucking believe I plan to pay that forward, starting with science outreach teaching for refugees here in Scotland.) So romantic! So we’re tying the knot in May.

Anyway, being that neither of us are hopeless romantics or like to put on a big show, the plan is to have a minimalist ceremony at the city registry, then go home and have a garden party if the weather’s good/indoor party if it’s shit. My not-mum (substitute mother in Scotland, good pal of my actual mother) who lives nearby me is letting me use her much-bigger flat with a very nice garden for this, and we’ll invite all our pals, play some music, have some Scottish dancing, and get happily drunk.

Now, to that end, you can probably imagine that I don’t want a fancyass floofy expensive wedding dress. No shade against those who do, right enough, I just can’t imagine being anything but ill at ease in one myself. Also, a friend of mine who lives in the western isles has asked if she can knit me a Hebridean white lambswool piece to wear on the day. I told her definitely, and I suggested a shawl a la Saffron from Firefly, but white with some splashes of neutral/grey, and we could weave some subtle bits of silver thread into the piece as well. So my dress has to (a) be quite comfortable and good for hanging out all day and dancing and playing fiddle, (b) match said Saffron-from-Firefly-but-white-wool piece, (c) make me look thinner, and (d) work with my ta tas. Christina Hendricks sort of shape.

I’ve been surfing Asos and Shopstyle, but it seems that, like most places, they cater mostly to the <C crowd. So here are my questions:
-any aggregate shop advice, for online shops that are boob-inclusive?
-any other advice about where to shop?
-any comments on the below dresses? these are kind of what I have in mind for look, if not specific purchase; I’m aware that some aren’t really suitable. I think the common thread is bodycon-ish and mid length, probably mostly sleeveless.


ETA that Kinka Kinja’ed and ate all my links and does not like to format in human terms. Republishing with screen shots to see if that works.



Love this one but my friend pointed out that it would be functionally see-through. Whoops. Well, I like this style and shape anyway.



I like the shape of this one - I think the junk in my trunk would too - and I think it would be a good boob-minimizer, but I have zero faith in this one to have accommodated for boob space. Thoughts on getting it a size up and then tucked at the waist? Seems risky?

Bandage dress - simple but maybe a little boring?


Likewise this cross-front one...



Love this, but little faith in my being able to adjust the shape up top to accommodate the girls.



The front on this is daring as FUCK but never fear, if I got something like this I’d sew in a light grey lace/white backing panel to make it a little less in-your-face. This and the one-shoulder style are probably my favourite, but I’m aware they look kind of cheap.


Same with this grey one. (FYI I’m fine with light grey or silver.) Although gah, scrolling through the photos on that one, that does NOT too much to deal with side boob!

Okay enough of this, any good sites I should visit?