A lot of things probably come to mind when you think about the word “masculinity.” Maybe crushing a beer can over your head and hazing rituals. Maybe Sunday night football and grilled meat. Or, maybe, “toxic” and “homophobic.”

In the short film American Male, which won MTV’s Look Different creator competition, writer and director Michael Rohrbaugh explores the ways masculinity forces men to act a certain way — even when it’s not who they want to be.

Editor’s note: the following video contains anti-gay violence, anti-gay language and needle use.