First off, how are you GT. I’ve been so busy (yay!) I haven’t hung out here in a while. I miss you all mucho. Secondly, I have a question about the appropriate time to profess one’s lurve for one’s beau.
I knew I was in love with Yung Iroh back when he was (S)ex God. Quick recap: we met about two years ago when neither of us was emotionally available. For a while I was his sub and secondary partner (he’s Poly), but to be honest his relationship with his primary partner was rocky and toxic so he wasn’t really in the space to be with someone else. For my part I was still in love with my ex and felt that he was a light-hearted fling (figuratively...as there were many strings attached literally, lol) and my status as sub and secondary partner would keep me safe from those tricky emotions. We fell for each other hard, but broke up quickly. After a lot of back and forth during which I stopped talking to my ex and he broke up with his partner we began dating again in October , he was re-christened Yung Iroh because of his outwardly stoic personality, and have been going strong ever since.
Our relationship is IMHO amazing and is a source of pride and stability for me. I’m so happy to be around him and we inspire each other to be our best selves, and the sex is fantastic and has only gotten better. I find myself wanting to slip “I love you” into text messages and goodbyes. I whisper it into his shoulder as he sleeps. I hug him and mouth the words but they never reach his ears. I think he loves me too-he treats me like he does, he sometimes calls our sex lovemaking, but I’m afraid that if I say it to him everything will fall apart.
The last boy I told I love you ran from me. He said it first then took it back, then said it again then took it back, and when I told him I loved him he ran. He stayed close enough for us to become codependent “just friends”, but he ran and it hurt me so badly I wanted to die. I ran from that ache and I bumped right into Yung Iroh.
I’ve actually told Iroh I’ve loved him before, but that was a long time ago. He’d come back to me asking for another chance and I got up the courage to say a recent realization: that I loved him, but that we were too different to make it last. Of course my opinion changed, but the truth still holds. He didn’t say anything that time, he just looked at me sadly and kept his distance.
So do you think I should take my chances and tell him? Or should I wait?