Turns out, I was deluding myself that what happened last week was a one off.
No, it was definitely a symptom of larger issues.
All I did all weekend was NOT text my boyfriend. All I did all weekend was think about everything about us, what I wanted, what I wasn’t getting, and how the list was too big. All I did all weekend was obsess over the fact that I was one half of a polyamorous relationship I didn’t want nor consent to. All I did all weekend was stress about how I was no longer happy in my once happy relationship.
So I ended a relationship with a man I loved because I knew I was never going to be happy in the relationship.
I’m grateful, though, that he was so mature and understanding about it. I’m grateful that between my last two relationships, I have tried things and arrangements I wasn’t sure about and came away with a clear understanding of what I want and don’t want out of a relationship. I’m hoping these will be clear guides as I step back into dating.
Horrible/hilarious dating stories are sure to ensue in the coming months.