I want to complain for a second about a weird quirk my husband has, but I always think spousal/romantic complaining should come with some positives, so I am doing both:

High

Mr. Lover (Mr. President?) is a really good and respectful listener. Like, this goes from me addressing male privilege, to me griping at him for things like stacking shit on shelves like Jenga so that when you walk around the house it’s like an earthquake knocking everything down, to me having a meltdown for a stupid reason because I am stressed out.

I’m sure our time will come, but we so rarely get in heated arguments because when I start to get worked up he listens and validates and does all the things you start to demand of someone when you are arguing with them. Not to say he ends up agreeing with me, and we of course bicker, but we’ve been together 7 years at this point and have yet to have a TRUE heated argument; we’ve had somewhat heated DISCUSSIONS but the heat part doesn’t last long. I know that this is mostly due to his temperament, maturity, and empathy.

Low

This man has some sort of “getting stabbed” issue that I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out. We don’t have a dishwasher, so we often have dishes soaking in hot soapy water (rather than destroy all our sponges on first use). At first, he was like “please don’t leave knives in there, I don’t want to get stabbed.” Perfectly reasonable, right? It took me a minute to get into that habit because I just, you know, exercise caution and use my eyes when I do stuff but sure. Reasonable.

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It’s evolved into no forks, butter knives, or any other pokey thing in there. At this point I’m like, what are you DOING when you do the dishes? Are you splashing around in there when I’m not looking? Has a fork treated you wrong in the past?

As of last night, he freaked out about a knife being IN THE SINK at all, with no water. This is like, as we’re cooking dinner. Knives are around. I don’t walk around with them pointing out, I don’t throw them, I don’t juggle them. But knives exist, dude. I almost lost my temper but (see above “high” section) that is never the right answer with him. I was like, “[Mr. President], are you just afraid of knives? Were you stabbed as a child? What is this?” and his only response was that I am leaving them around “willy-nilly!”

NO I AM NOT I AM USING KNIVES IN A KITCHEN TO COOK DELICIOUS FOOD FOR OUR MOUTHS!

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Extra weird, is that he has worked in the service industry his whole life. Knives abound! He’s fine!

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Commence!