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Skills you can't put on your resume

Want to brag about those odd/extremely specific things you do that you don't think other people can do as well? I am surprisingly skilled at putting on eye makeup, including liquid eyeliner, while a cat is walking all over my lap and nuzzling my arms and chest*. I can also salvage burnt grilled cheese by scraping off the black bitties until you'd never know I got distracted while cooking it.

*No, I can't lock it out of the room or tell it to get off. Who do you think I am?

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