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Illustration for article titled Slate Endorses Pro-Kitten-Killing Mayoral Candidate

In case you missed it, two kittens wandering the New York City subway tracks on Thursday caused officials to shut down two major subway lines for over 90 minutes in attempts to rescue the 8-week-old kittens from being run over. The kittens were indeed rescued, and are now safe and being treated at a shelter.


This, however, being an election season, the New York press was obligated to ask the mayoral candidates if shutting down the major commuter lines was the right thing to do, especially on a work day. Here are their responses:

Republican front-runner Joe Lhota's spokesperson: "No, Joe does not think a train line should be shut down"


Republican rival John Catsimatidis:

I am an Animal Lover
Especially CATS
Supposed they were
Baby Rats
Its up to the Policeman on the Scene to make decision
Not the Mayor


Democrat Christine Quinn's spokesperson: "Chris would have stopped the trains for the kitties"

Democrat Anthony Weiner's spokesperson: "If Anthony is elected mayor, he will not only stop trains for kittens, he will personally crawl over the third rail to do it."


Democrat Bill Thompson's spokesperson: "would work to protect [the kittens]"

Republican George McDonald's spokesperson says he is pro-kitten-saving: "Just another innovative solution to the rat problem by the MTA. Until we get control [of the MTA], it's the Governor's problem."


Current Democrat frontrunner Bill de Blasio has remained a moral coward, refusing to take a kitten-killing or kitten-saving stance.

Slate has decided that Anthony Lhota's kitten-killing platform is the correct one. This just in, the official policy of Slate.com is to endorse heartless, heartless monsters. (*sob*)


via [NYmag, Jezebel]

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