I guess my feelings are just extra sensitive, or I’m bad at having friends...because I’m back with another complaint/rant/pity-party.
I have always been a “sleepy” person. Literally, since I was a baby who started sleeping 12+ hours at a couple months old. It runs in my family. My mom is the same way, as was her mom. For a long time, I felt really shitty about myself because of it. I would try to hide that I would sleep 16 hours on Saturday and Sunday, because other adults would react like I was some sort of immature, irresponsible degenerate. If you haven’t experienced it before (I know there are a lot of GTers with similar issues, so I’m kind of preaching to the choir), some people seriously react with contempt when they find this out, especially if they find out it’s a thing you do often—even if allllll the other things you do in your life point to you being a productive, hard-working member of society.
A couple of years ago, it got so bad that SehjMan finally convinced me to see a doctor about it. I had a sleep study and was diagnosed with “idiopathic hypersomnia with long sleep time” It’s kind of a garbage diagnosis (in the sense that they still don’t know what’s wrong or a good treatment), but it has helped me a lot in realizing I’m not just lazy.
So anyway, my childhood friends and I (6 of us total) have a private group on Facebook to keep in touch. This morning, my best friend from high school posted this:
with the caption “Sehjma! Haha!”
I lived with this friend for a couple summers during college... I know I was bad about it. I know it drove her crazy to hear it while she was up doing stuff around the apartment (she’s a way early riser). But, she also knows about my sleep study, the results, and the fact that I’m now on medications for it. Also compounding this is the fact that she’s big into homeopathic and “natural” remedies, so she’s convinced that if I would just go on one of her programs she could fix me.
So, I spent the whole morning worrying about how to reply back. I know she wasn’t trying to be hurtful, so I didn’t want to reply with something too aggressive, but at the same time, I wanted to reinforce “Hey, that was due to a medical condition, so it’s not really nice to make fun of me for it.”
I ended up replying with:
Sorry! I was terrible...undiagnosed sleep disorders are the worst! I’m getting better though. Now it’s only 2 or 3 snoozes!
which I thought was pretty OK (I know, I know, I should just be more straightforward and say “Hey, I’m hurt by this”). So I was feeling better about it, but then she replied about how some people just aren’t morning people, sleep disorders or not.
(Sigh) I don’t know, I guess I’m just feeling all-around bad about myself and mopey.