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Happy Birthday to Ted Haggard! Ted turns 59 tomorrow. His Facebook page is full of early birthday wishes today. And what a wonderful gift he has received from the SCOTUS.

We all know he preached against gay marriage prior to his gay sex/masseur/meth scandal. Many of us saw the surprisingly reasonable things he said in his GQ Interview in 2011. A few of us may have seen the bizarre episode of Celebrity Wife Swap where Ted’s wife, Gayle, switched places with Gary Busey’s wife, Steffanie. Now he’s less…open minded? open hearted? about his sexuality and acceptance of gays, but, you know what? I feel for him. He’s clearly an extrovert, a people person, a caring individual, even if those qualities have been twisted by evangelical christianity. He says in his GQ interview that he learned at Oral Roberts to “pray through” his problems “instead of getting real help”, and I think that’s something many of us can relate to, though we ay have to replace “pray” with “drink”, “fuck”, “starve”, “deny”, or the verb of your choice. Now, though, I feel like the evangelical christian industrial complex has basically forced him to declare everything is fine, and not contradict the asshole who proclaimed him “100% heterosexual”. He’s in the same situation now as he was in 30-odd years ago, having to pretend that part of him isn’t actually there, hiding it, denying it. Sorry Ted, I hope you get the freedom to be who you really are some day.


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