Okay, we all know OKCupid is a shit show. We all get really weird messages; the one-liner, the hey beautiful, the way out of your age range, the aggressively sexual. They're usually easy enough to ignore but sometimes they catch me on the wrong day or they're just too bizarre/stupid to let go and I have to say something back. I can't help it. It's just my nature. So I do something I like to call the Burn and Block where I send a snarky reply and immediately block them. Maybe they're trying to get a rise out of me and me writing something mean in response gives them some kind of emotional satisfaction. Well, writing mean responses to assholes/idiots gives me emotional satisfaction, so I guess in that case, we're even.

Here's one I got today. If this guy isn't negging, then I have no idea what the point of even writing to me could have been:

You are quite open on your profile with a bunch of strangers. Good for you. Sex is a little more...important to me than it seems but you do seem adventurous.

Me:

Are you negging? Did you learn how to communicate with women on the internet? That's cute. Keep at, I'm sure being condescending to strangers is the path to building fulfilling relationships.

This guy either forgot he wrote me or he figured if the first "line" didn't work, try try again:

Good morning what's shakin'?

Six days later:

Hi there, How are you? O.k, I am hereby submitting your picture to the Websters dictionary to include under the definition of "beautiful"! I hope you dont mind but I'm not happy with the one they chose and I'm all for educating the public! Is that ok with you? My name's [Name] nice to "meet" you... :-)

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Me:

The first dumb message didn't work, so why not try an even dumber message? Solid plan, friend.

This one was all posted in the same message:

Hi dear,

I was just surfing through the site and i found your amazing profile

and i decided to hit you up... i'd really love to get to know you more

better. Please feel free to write me back anytime soon and i really

want to let you know u looking BEAUTIFUL in that pic of yours and A

LOVELY SMILE you got(cant ignore that fact at all..lol) Take care of

yourself and hoping to hear from you soon.

[Name]

Hey.

Writing to someone you have never met or talked to before,I think its

extremely difficult. Take this message for instance,I had all the words

in my head but could not seem to put a coherent sentence together, was

going to start with hello, hi there , whats up lol...... or hey, how

are you today??... but it just seemed too blunt for me so I went with

Hey!. Anyway I will get to the pulse of it all.I saw your profile ,

thought to send you a mail . feel free to IM me on yahoo

[email address], let me know what you think. Let me tell you a

secret , My name is [Name again]...lol. ) love to get a reply from you .

Get Busy.

Me:

Do you guys all go to the same reddit page to get your copy/paste OKCupid messages? Do you even look at people's profiles before you send out your mass messages? How often does it work? Does it get you laid? Anyway, you pasted two different notes in this one message, so you might want to clear your clipboard before you send the next one.

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What about you guys, do you snipe back or just ignore it all?

ETA: I should mention that I only reply for my own personal satisfaction. I don't reply to every idiot message I get (I think I've only done it one or two times more than the ones I posted above) and I don't have any illusions about winning hearts and minds or changing behavior.