Chuck Hagel just said, "If Assad is prepared to use chemical weapons against his own people, we have to be concerned that terrorist groups like Hezbollah, which has forces in Syria supporting the Assad regime, could acquire them[.]" And we were doing so well.

Look, I'm more of an Obama apologist than many others and perhaps even more so for someone like John Kerry who many people find to be a bit of a pompous windbag. I've been on the fence for a long time about the prospect of our fine nation inserting giant exploding phalluses into a civil war in Syria and I think Hagel's weak sauce "the terrrrists could get chemical weapons" pretty much removed my (inconsequential) support for a Syrian adventure.

I've been reading off and on, with mounting horror, the death toll rise to over 100,000 and being a general bleeding heart liberal, I couldn't help but think "we must do something as Americans!" (I'm not actually American, but I am a permanent resident, I pay taxes and live here and never plan on leaving, so for all intents and purposes GO AMERICA *plays anthem, drinks beer, punches a Frenchman, waves flag, USA USA USA*) because that would be the Moral and Right Thing to Do.

But man, Obama is not really selling this too well. It seems like the whole reason we're getting drawn into this conflict is because he drew his line in the sand over chemical weapons and doesn't want everyone calling him a pussy when he realizes that he now has to do something to show he really really meant it.

So, the answer is to launch MOTHERFUCKING CRUISE MISSILES at "targets" relating to chemical weapons and, man, at first I was blinded by a slightly patriotic fervor and thought, yeah, finally, we're going to help those people! We're going to help those people by dropping millions of dollars worth of fucking munitions RIGHT ON THEIR HEADS. Uh, awesome?

Advertisement

We don't really have a good record when it comes to "tactical" strikes when all we're trying to do is be helpful. If we're not in it to win it, then what the fuck are we actually doing? Strikes from our big-ass missile boats are going to do one thing quite well - kill and maim a lot of people, some intentionally, some less so - and that's about it. We're not committing troops, we're not taking sides (we still haven't armed the opposition like we said we were going to), we're not brokering any kind of cease fire...oh, and some of the rebels are affiliated with al-Qaeda.

No, the great plan is to show up, blow up a bunch of shit, then fuck off again.

No thanks.