Like the whole thing. It feels so WEIRD.

Backstory: I went to a new nail salon today because the one I normally like is always so busy that they’ve basically gotten to the point where you need to have an appointment, but I like to fly by the seat of my pants so that doesn’t work for me.

I sit down and I’m getting my pedicure (for the record: fine, not spectacular, my normal place is better) and the tech says: “I’ve been looking at your eyebrows. Would you like them waxed? We do that. They’re really bad.”

I wasn’t personally offended or surprised by this approach. I think it’s offensive in theory—on principal—but to be honest where I live it’s so normal I guess I’m just used to it? Kind of sad, but okay! So I agreed: let’s wax my eyebrows. In the tech’s defense I haven’t had an eyebrow wax in months, so there’s that.

While she’s doing it she stops and says, “You have a lot of peach fuzz.” I’m not sure how to respond to this, like, umm... yes? No? She’s all in my face so she’s kind of the momentary expert. After a beat she adds, “We should wax your face. It will be so smooth and nice.”

In this moment I’m not sure... Have I been walking around literally my entire life with very noticeable facial hair I’m unaware of? So I cave: “Yeah, why not. Wax away.” (I was playing it cool.)

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She waxes MY WHOLE FACE. I mean, from my jaw to above my eyebrows ALL THE WAY ACROSS. She waxed MY EARLOBES. She got some of my head hair. The whole time she was talking about how fancy the cream facial wax they use is and how smooth my face is becoming. I can say with great sincerity that this afternoon was one of the most surreal half hours of my life.

Tell me, on a weird scale of one to ten, where does this land. Can I ever go back? She did a rocking job on my eyebrows and I am extremely conflicted.