I really do not enjoy doing so, because every time I speak to him I hope "oh maybe he'll be happy to hear from me!"
Sometimes he is. Being bipolar will do that (I've discussed on here before, he's bipolar I). So sometimes he's over the moon that I called and will definitely, 100% absolutely come to Brooklyn to see me next weekend. Not tonight, though.
I actually blew up his phone for a while before he picked up because I honestly thought he died. I have secondary insurance under him, and it was brought to my attention that it had expired. I also hadn't heard from him in months and neither had any of our family. So I freaked and me and my mom were both calling/texting him and my aunt until he finally answered the phone.
Let me tell you, there's nothing like talking to your drunk, drugged out father who's in a depressive state who 1) doesn't realize he's talking to his own daughter for the first 10 minutes of the conversation and 2) when he does start guilt tripping you for not calling him sooner to make your fucking night.
Well, he ain't dead. So that much is good. He also lost his job, hence the lack of insurance.