Because I'm seriously considering hooking back up with a former date/casual manfriend/FWB despite the fact that a) he's an alcoholic b) he's constitutionally incapable of anything more than casual manfriend and I really want something more and c) he has fucking multiple myeloma and his prognosis is bleak.
1) we've been friends for 10 years, despite (because?) of two separate phases of dating/casual manfriending/FWB-ing;
2) I actually do kind of love him, the way I love my dearest friends. I will be fucking devastated if (when) he dies. So my feelings are strong;
3) He was good in the sack, at least before the cancer.
1) he's insanely fucked up about relationships;
2) I've gained 60 pounds since the last time we got busy and the thought of getting naked with anyone is horrifying;
3) he's insanely fucked up about relationships.
4) he's dying. Maybe not tomorrow, but way, way before me.
So. I'm a moron.