I have a week before I head into medical hell so I'm completely splurging on terrible food and TV. Can you stream The Girls Next Door? (sadly, no.) Want to know all about the Kardashian wedding? While having some kettle corn and buffalo wings. Thank you!

Also addiction issues: All the Million Dollar:NY/Los Angeles shows (Frederic! wee!) The Lindsay Lohan mess.

Too bad for even me: The Melissa/Joan Rivers show. The Tori Spelling show. The Ryan Lochte show (I tried, man.)

WHY IS THERE NO NEW TOP CHEF? PROJECT RUNWAY? ANTM? This is what I need!

All these things keep me from thinking about crazy ahead. Please send suggestions for mindness, non-stressful shows for a trashy person in their 40s. (Medical shows are out along with violent death etc.)

I've already memorized all the Veronica Mars/Buffy saga.