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So that looks bad in hindsight

You guys, I'm having a weird day. You know how (Spoiler Alert!) towards the end of (500) Days of Summer, Tom starts seeing the objective cracks in their relationship a lot more clearly? I'm having that kind of day.

It's not that I didn't pick up on the clues during the relationship, after all most of our fights were about how excluded I felt from his life. I only met a small subset of his friends, who were mostly really rude and condescending no matter how polite I tried to be. I never met his family. It took him 6 fucking months to get him to call me his girlfriend. And towards the end, he was getting really weird.


He rolled his eyes when I told him I consider myself a feminist. He got increasingly annoyed with how much I love my dog. He'd randomly insult my apartment, complaining about things that were well beyond my control like the temperature. He'd talk down to me when it came to things that required tools. He'd complain about my sleeping habits, which were never an issue until the last couple of months. Overall, he thought I was incapable of taking care of myself without him. In reality, the only thing he had a stronger foothold on in life was his finances. I frequently had to remind him that I was a fully formed adult well before I met him, and I've been taking care of myself just fine. And right now, even after all I've been through, I continue to do so.

He never seemed to grasp that, in some ways, I'm the much more responsible adult. I take care of a living being, I have a much more solid work/life balance. I live alone in a big apartment, while he lived with a roommate paying the same amount of rent as I do. I had to teach him basic cooking techniques, even though he constantly boasted about how good he was at cooking. I have hobbies and talents, ones that didn't last a total of 6 weeks or less. Just because he finished college and I didn't, because of financial reasons, doesn't make him any more intelligent than me. And I was capable of being emotionally available and inviting him into my life, without centering it around him.

I don't hate him for any of those little digs, but they certainly are telling. Too bad for him, maybe one day he'll catch up.

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