...And I have discovered (apparently) the easiest and most surefire way to identify quickly who needs to be eliminated from one's feed.

JUST POST SOMETHING ON COMMON CORE.

I have a compiled an easy, step by step list of what to do and what not to do to draw every jackass out of the woodwork, thus making your weeding process go even fast:

1. Make sure to point out that just because we went to school does not automatically make us conversant in evaluating curriculum standards and whether or not they will be useful in educating kids.

2. Btw, definitely don't use the word curriculum. Apparently using the word curriculum means you're A HORRIBLE IVORY TOWER LIBERAL ACADEMIC WHO HATES AMERICA AND BOOTSTRAPS.

3. Laughing when someone says "street smarts" are more important, and that we should dumb down classrooms standards to Basics in order to make children more educated is apparently an inappropriate response.

4. Mention your background in looking at/thinking about/discussing educational standards at the district, state, and federal level, since...y'know, your mother is one of the most sought after educational consultants for her expertise in special programs, school and district compliance reviews, and debates about school standards was typical dinner conversation. THIS WILL MAKE PEOPLE LOSE THEIR FUCKING MINDS, because, didn't you know? ALL ADMINISTRATORS ARE USELESS BUREAUCRATS THAT HATE CHILDREN. They live for crushing the dreams of your bright little sparkplug.

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5. Linking to the CC standards online alerts everyone that you are a puppet of the government. ESPECIALLY if you post both the state standards (which have been in place since 2010), and the newer federal standards.

6. Do allow the craziest motherfucker of the bunch talk about how the Dept. of Ed. needs to be abolished and definitely encourage him to explain HIS PLAN FOR FIXING EDUCATION. Laugh uproariously when you go point by point to explain how each one of his mindblowingly awesome ideas are actually concepts that already underpin the educational system as it stands.

7. ???????

8. Profit

Sigh. Look, federal standards and state standards for education are pretty fucking difficult to understand. I'm still working my way through the CC curriculum grade by grade and writing down my questions for my mom, so we can discuss it more.

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BUT WHY. OH WHY DID I THINK THAT POSTING SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THE CONCEPTS ACTUALLY WORK IN EDUCATING STUDENTS WOULD GENERATE A CONVERSATION ABOUT TEACHING TECHNIQUES AND THE IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING WHY AND NOT JUST HOW?

Bad news: I'm an idiot.

Good news: I know who needs to be deleted from my friends' list.

This guide has been brought to you by Smithwellette, hungover duck.