9 Reasons Men Should Never Perform Cunninglingus

And it is as offensive and click-baity as you can imagine. In the same manner that you can tell a post is racist if you change the offending word to "black", you can make this article about why women should not give blow jobs by swapping the sexes in the list.

Here's a blow by blow:

-Since women can get HPV, men can get throat cancer by going downtown, (Michael Douglas said so, it's proof, bro!)


-Other sexual diseases lurk down there, so stay away!

-Don't forget the non-sexually transmitted diseases! Yeast infections IN YOUR MOUTH.


-You know how close the vagina is to the anus? POOP IN YOUR MOUTH.

-Other guys have been down there with their penis. You don't want their penis in your mouth. You aren't gay, are you? Because the vagina is a self cleaning organ, but it's really bad at it.


-If you get her used to orgasms via the clitoris and you tongue, she will be unable to have orgasms via your Sacred Penis. TRUE FAX. (taken from the article: "The amount of stimulation cunnilingus provides is unnatural. Think about it: If the clitoris was meant to receive that much direct stimulation, Mother Nature would have placed it within the vaginal walls instead of on the periphery.")

-If you go down, the woman only loves you for your cunning lingus, instead of your brain or your penis.


-Men should always be dominant in sex, so if you are kneeling to her and her pleasure, you are DOING IT WRONG. (How dare a woman get all uppity and enjoy sex?)

-CUNNILINGUS IS A GATEWAY DRUG TO LESBIANISM. Because a woman knows a woman's body better than you ever will, and if she realizes the Power Of the Tongue, she will realize that the Power is stronger when wielded by another woman, and will leave you for a Lesbian as soon as she can.


So all you men better listen and realize, you are responsible for lesbianism. Only the power of your penis can save us from the scourge of women liking women (who do naughty things with their tongues.)

At least the comments are as WTF as I am. And the poster on Facebook is a man I know for certain is a HUGE proponent for women in general, and cunnilingus in particular.