(I know I just came back and wrote a post about the weekend, but I have another post that has been bouncing around my brains for a while now and I need to vent!)
As some of you may know, I am a 26 year old female living in the south (specifically Texas). I am a crazy cat lady who has been in a stable relationship with Mr.Bottom for over 6 years. While none of our family members ever gets up in our business, random strangers like to get all up in it and be assholes.
With my sister getting married a lot of people turn right to me and ask "So when are you gonna get married big sister?!" I tell them that me and Mr.Bottom will get married when I'm finished with school and we have the time and money to do so. This makes them start worrying about how long that will be. I tell them that we don't really care how long it will be, it's not like it'll be that much different anyway. I don't really mind this stuff like many other people do. I figure it's all part of being in a long term relationship and people wondering how it's going. I know it's a big button for some people but I don't really care, for me it's like asking about the weather.
What I don't fucking like is when people then start asking about babies. Because once they find out how old I am and that I'm totally cool with waiting to get married, obviously the whole "But think of how little time you have left!" stuff comes up. At first, this didn't bother me either. I just told people how I felt and what our plans were. It was peoples reactions that turned me off. And not just from older people who aren't with the times, but from my own friends. Now whenever people bring up babies, I want to punch them in the face because I know exactly how the conversation is going to go.
"But Bottom! Think of how little time you have left!"
"I'm not really worried about time. I've still got shit tons of it, thanks."
"Well, you think that... but my second cousins step aunts horse trainers nephews girl friend thought she had plenty of time, but then found out she really didn't..."
"Well, I have plenty of time. I'm not worried. I want to adopt, so -"
"Oh, you can't have kids?"
"As far as I know I can, and I will. I'm going to adopt them."
"Why do you want to adopt them?"
"Because (insert 1 of about 30 reasons)."
"But don't you want to have a real baby?"
"My babies will be 100% real, I have no fucking idea what you are talking about."
"You know, don't you want to have your own?"
"They will be my own babies, and now you're really pissing me off."
"Well, have you told Mr.Bottom this is how you really feel?"
"Mr.Bottom knows and is fully on board, what are you even trying to say?"
"*big long sigh* Well, when you get a little older you'll understand..."
Or some other totally patronizing version of the same freaking bullshit. I fully hate discussing any future baby plans with anyone. Even my friends try to go into the whole "child birth is a miracle" and "you should at least try to have one" unless they are in the same boat. Sometimes I don't want kids at all, and will tell people that and even then those reactions are nowhere near as bad as the ones I get when I tell people that we just want to adopt. Hearing the reactions sometimes just pushes me fully into the "Fine, fuck it, no kids!" camp for months/years.
It's like if you want to do anything except squeeze a baby out of your vagina then you are uninformed of the situation and need everyone to fill you in and tell you what you should do. A lot of it comes from that horrible Mommy Squad too and I want to rip their arms off and beat the shit out of their screaming selves with them. conversations like the above and worse have happened about 4 times in the past month alone, so I am getting pretty enraged. Apparently, I'm stupid for not wanting kids, and then I'm stupid for wanting them. You can't win with crazy bitches.
From now on, I'm just going to scream "NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS ASSHOLE!" to anyone who asks, because I know exactly what will be said for both situations and I want to put them in their fucking place.