Into an old, beautiful, behemoth of a worklode house. And I'm excited, I guess...

So why am I walking around my current house crying? I know I am PMSing, I know I've always gotten inordinately attached to things and places, but it just makes me so sad to leave this little place.

And it's not even that little! It's two bedrooms, it's decent sized, and it has a yard and garden that I have put so much of myself into. But if we're buying we need something that will fit our future family that isn't on a crazy-busy street. I'm like Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally: everyone keeps explaining to me what I already logically know, and I'm like "You're right, you're right, I know you're right".

But still. It's just so physically hard for me to move from life phase to life phase seamlessly. I get all excited about paint colors and projects, getting pregnant and gardening and being a block from the cute main street, and then I think about never having tea in my current kitchen again and I break down. I've sobbed every day for the past five (since we wrote up the official contract) and am basically acting like a loved one is about to die.

Is anyone else like this? I feel like I'm a real burden to Beau, Carlos because he feels like we shouldn't move if I'm such a goddam emotional stressball about it, and I just don't know what to do. I have been trying Rainbow Bright Eyes' breathing method, and it helps temporarily until I have a lucid thought again. I haven't even been drinking because I'm afraid that will make me worse (it certainly has made every night from 4-10 worse)! I don't know where I'm going with this. I just feel like a wreck.


subquestion: do I dig up the rosebush, raspberry bush, and mums I planted and take them to the next place? also: does anyone want seeds for cosmos that look like this or for nasturtiums? I have about a bazillion and they grow like gangbusters, so you don't need more than like 10 and my house would be overrun if I planted them all.