It started as a funny Sunday story: I had gone to a family reunion dinner with The Maternal one. I had a full plate of chicken, taters and hush puppies but no place to sit. Mom pointed out one of those green metal chairs where the legs are that bent l-shape under it. I sat, the entire seat bent backwards and I was left at a backwards slant at a unflattering angle. I was helped up, got to joke that my mom tried to kill me, good time had by yadda yadda.

Then Monday evening, mom noticed that my manboobs seemed uneven. There's this weird swelling and sensitivity under and around my left one with some redness and itching. And I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that may lead to x-rays.

Surely I've got nothing to be THAT worried about, right?