"I just don't know what I'm going to do while you're gone for 12 weeks! I've been thinking about this all weekend, and I JUST. DON'T. KNOW." Then of course, this gem: "Is there any chance you'll be gone for MORE than 12 weeks?"

Um, gee, I don't know. Let me check my Magic 8 Ball and see what it says. WTF? I certainly PRAY that I won't be out for more than 12 weeks, because that would mean there was something wrong with my baby or that something goes wrong in the delivery, and I am incapacitated, but seriously —- WTF???

Number 1: this should be an indicator of how much I actually DO versus how much I get paid.

Number 2: Not really my problem. Sorry, but it's not. Truly. And you can't harass me for the next 4 months about it. UGH.