Every time I think I find something that might make me interested in soccer (I'm not calling it football, because MURRRICA I HAVE A FLAG HAT AND DIABEETUS), something pops up to remind me that I could never be. I was just thinking "you know, I should go look at uniforms to figure out which team I'd want to root for, because I'm 8-years-old at heart and that's what 8-year-olds do." I'd already eliminated from contention any team I'd heard of: Chelsea, Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur (wtf, btw, were they drunk when they named this team?), Arsenal, and Manchester City is hanging onto contention ONLY because they call them MAN CITY.

So I'm looking at the uniforms and some of these patterns/colors are actually pretty cool; powder blue for Newcastle and Man City (HAR HAR HAR) is always great, I like the orange/black combo for Hull City, I like the creativeness of the Swansea uniforms (plus that's a great name), West Brom's black-and-red away combo is pretty bangin', and I like Cardiff's simple, classic red.

And then I start to notice...wait, why the fuck are there corporate logos EVERYWHERE? I had at first thought they were photoshopped on but...wait...no, it...SERIOUSLY?! Premier League players look like fucking walking NASCARS?! GODDAMIT.

Anyway, if I can get over these fucking logos (UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH, and other cultures claim AMERICANS are commercialist), help me out here, GTers who have any interest in the Premier League. Who should I be picking? Know that the names above, unless somebody has really compelling evidence otherwise, are the only ones I have any interest in.

ETA: I might be picking Cardiff just because whatever company they're advertising is called "Malaysia" and I can just pretend they're the Malaysian National Team, inexplicably filled with Welshmen for some reason.
ETA II: Hmm, Cardiff is out, because fuck China. Hull City is taking a strong lead here.