So... Husband, Other-Husband and I are friends with this couple. We knew the guy first, then met his girlfriend a few months later. He's the guy that helped Husband fix up his truck and cooked his birthday dinner, and got O-H and I the singing gig, and we've worked together, and babysat each other's kids, and gotten together on holidays... we've become family, in other words.
The guy has been having an affair behind his gf's back (none of us knew, either) for the last 5 weeks. She just found out, and is absolutely devastated. Husband, O-H, and I are put squarely in the middle, now, because she's calling us for advice and crying on our shoulders, and the guy is ALSO calling for advice and shoulder-sobbing. Husband and I went to meet her at the bar at 1am because she was a mess. The guy has asked if he can stay with us.
ARGH! I'm hurt and angry with him (obviously, not to the level she's at, but still) and H and O-H are, too. There's very much a feeling among their friends that he broke up the family. Not just their family, but the friend-family, too.
My sympathies are definitely with her, but I can understand why he did it, too (long story). Not condoning it at all, but I understand it. They've never had the most stable relationship, despite having real love for each other, although I didn't think he would stoop this low.
I think she's done with him, and I can't blame her.
I/we love them both, and have no idea which way to go with this. Ideally, we don't have to "choose", but in reality... I just don't know.