I am anxious (YOU DON'T SAY, CORGIS) about almost everything, but social situations are a particularly odd and powerful trigger.
So here's the thing that happened today. I followed a video game archivist who talked about how gamergate is causing some academic circles to not take games seriously as a medium, just when they were starting to come around. I tweeted about how frustrating that was, because I'd like to maybe go into video game archiving. This archivist gal got quickly involved in the Reddit fray, apparently a lot of abuse is getting hurled her way, and I spoke my support and my frustration. GG terrifies me, as a woman and a nerd. It's frustrating to hear that funding is getting pulled because of this embarrassment.
So there's another video game archivist, whom I really respect and think is super cool. He and I have briefly discussed working on a project together someday down the road. He private messages me with the following:
"I didn't want to say this publicly but I think [archivist] is making a big logic leap between "my dept won't fund me" and "GAME HISTORY IS DOOMED". There are plenty of organizations preserving video game history for pay right now, and it's only growing. I think we're missing data w/her."
I said "Fair enough, that's a really good point". We then proceeded to discuss the potential project a little more. But that first PM just spiraled me, temporarily, into a state of anxiety and embarrassment. OVER NOTHING. He pointed something out privately, I conceded that I hadn't thought of it that way, and that was that.
I talked myself through why it was illogical, but I'm still feeling squirrely about it. Is anyone else like this? Where these innocuous little social situations just flare them up like a wildfire?
ETA: Game archivist #1 is now tweeting about how her colleagues and friends were content to retweet her words but refuse to stand with her now that she's being attacked. And I feel like AHHH OH GOD SHE'S TALKING ABOUT ME because I did take a step back, and I am wary of plunging into this fray when I am not actually anything but a future student of the field.
The moral of this story is that Gamergate can go fuck itself and die.