and I don't think I'm going to make it. She comes in, every day, and at some point in the morning, gives an update on how she's doing. One of these days, I'm going to tell her what I'm thinking, and I will definitely get into trouble.

I do not care about your pregnancy. You aren't even into your second trimester yet, and so much is about to change, and congrats you heard the heartbeat, but I don't need to know every little detail. I don't need to know how tired you are or how much/when you're puking. I don't need to know how excited you are to buy yourself a whole new wardrobe, starting with things that will soon be either impractical or unwearable.

At this point, I doubt I will ever be pregnant, but I know with certainty that if I am, I will not talk about it to people at work. The only time I will talk about it, will be in direct reference to Alien. And hopefully that will stop people from wanting to talk to me about it. I don't talk to you about my bunions and/or various other afflictions; why do you/people feel the need to talk about pregnancy??? Also, if I am ever pregnant, the first stranger who touches my belly is pulling back a broken hand. An assault for an assault, buddy.

For those of you who have been pregnant, tell me that this need to tell people details goes away. We are not about to bond over how she's making her first baby.