This meant so much to me & helped me more than I can reasonably describe. Refilled my depleted strength. If you don’t read through, the summary is: your instinct to hold & care for a stranger is correct. And for me anyway, turned out to be a saving grace.
Long story, making it as short as I can. Ooof.
My Mr. 4th. Job injury. Out of commission & work for nearly 1 month. Can’t sit or stand for more than a few minutes. Can’t drive. Certain positions on our bed or the living room floor only work for him. If you’ve come to know us here, you know he’s an annoying go~getter, outdoorsman of the fucking year. My sweetheart.
45 minute truck drive to get to the Doctor’s ancilliary surgery office for an epidural cortisone shot. That fucking length of a drive was Not Good. ( Don’t even get me started about why his Doctor sent him that far, knowing his pain. Another day..) By the time I parked the truck & came to the waiting room, I only had to look at his face trying to sit in the chair. We agreed the floor would be better. So, together, he let me help him to the floor in a series of hand bracings & my legs for spotting.
The nurses (angels from heaven) noticed. Came rushing. Lots of answering questions for him, and they lead him to a gurney, holding him up. To lay him down on something more suitable for a doctor’s office, thank heavens. They took him behind closed doors, mercy.
I fucking lost my shit. I was silent~crying...you know what that is, right? When your face is the same & you’re talking but there is forehead pinching & a bit of panic? And water running down your face from your eyeballs? But you’re not screwed up type crying? Because you just realized how much his pain effects your heart?
I sat down after he was brought behind the doors. Hands on my face, tears going very quietly. I was not obvious, or snorting, or loud. Just off by myself, quietly. A deeply thoughtful, beautiful soul of a Woman came out of nowhere and scooped me up in a giant hug. I collapsed in to her.
I will never forget that kindness. I needed her, & she somehow knew it. She took the chance that her own soul was telling her to take, and man, did my own soul need her. One of the most beautiful moments of my life.