Welcome To The Bitchery

Sometime this winter I am going to be arrested.

I don't understand you, Ohio drivers. I don't. That white stuff out there? That's called snow. It happens every year. You know about this stuff. Yes, it's still slick even if it's brownish/greyish in the road. Hell no, I'm not going the speed limit. I'm going 10 below and I'm pretty sure you can see my car sliding around. So pray tell other motorists, why are you two inches away from my bumper? You've got a jeep? That's cool that you think you're invincible with your 4 wheel drive, but go on with your nonsense in the other lane.

I really want to keep a baseball bat in my car, so that way I can get out at stop lights and beat other drivers with it for being so goddamn stupid. I'll have to settle with going even slower and brake-checking the assclowns who don't know to leave at least a car-length between my car and theirs when there is inclement weather.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter