And I say that with love. I signed up for OKCupid because of peer pressure (it's all your fault, GT) and I rarely use it. I haven't once responded to any messages. I never initiate contact. Tonight, I sent two messages, and I hate this feeling.

I'm not sure what this feeling is. Hope? Ugh. I hate hope. Hope always turns to disappointment and pain. Desperation? God, no! Don't let it be that! They'll sense it on me and I'll die alone in a menagerie of my own collecting. No, I'm not sure what this is, but I don't like it.

My first message was just a throwaway to a dancer-guy. I don't think we're all that compatible, and I feel like he's not totally straight, but if/when I get back to the city, we could hang out. Like he's that kind of guy.

The second, I think, has come up in my "he likes you" matches before, but I ignored him because he's like 5 states away. I recently realized that I am a nomad who will only be happy where the wind takes me, and who knows? it could be to 5 states away. So I said something. Which he'll probably ignore b/c it's been so long since he first noticed me.

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I figured out what this feeling is! I have a crush on this guy! Ugh. gross.

I don't like crushes. Crushes are what 12 year olds have. I suck at dating, so I guess it's probably best to go back to the drawing board. Crushes are the place to start, right? My best friend just married a guy she met on one of these websites? and she's super happy? I'm generally a cold bitch, so maybe I should just relax and give this sort of thing a chance.

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Seriously, how do y'all do it? Or are you just on OKCupid for shits n' giggles that you enjoy sharing with the rest of us? because I do so enjoy reading the shits n' giggles OKC posts.