When some really old, clearly drunk dude (who is apparently a friend of the barber shop owner) decided to let me know how gorgeous I could be . . . if I just lost 20 pounds.

Cool.Story.Bro. I wish I could control my facial expressions, cause I know my face went straight to "if you don't shut up, I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!"

I feel like I use this gif a lot, but it is basically how I have been feeling for far too long:

ETA: Upside- my barber is kinda hot, and he thinks I'm "sexy." Downside: he reeks of weed. I cannot fucking stand weed.