Welcome To The Bitchery

We spent a ton of time poring over recipes this morning, then had to stop at four grocery stores to get all his ingredients. FOUR. Then he cooked for approximately 1.5 - 2 hours.

When it was time to eat, it smelled amazing (he was trying to make a jackfruit curry) but he looked worried. I asked him what was wrong, he said, I don’t want to bias you—just try it and tell me what you think.

I took a bite and...


It tasted like burned lime juice that someone threw a shit ton of salt on.

Knowing that he’d worked so hard, I stirred it and tried another bite, thinking I just hit a bad patch. But, uh...

But, like, two hours! Four stores! So much money! Maybe if I mix it with the rice...


After three bites, I told him, I’m sorry, I appreciate how much work you put into this but I can’t eat any more. He looked at me and said, If you get a bite with a macadamia in it....


So, yeah, we had some frozen pizza for dinner. :| And I will never be able to eat jackfruit again.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter