For those of you who have dogs—you know the thing they do when they suddenly stop, drop, and roll? Just roll their bodies up and down and wiggle around in one spot, tongues hanging out, gleefully blissed out? I recently learned that they are sensing earthworms and trying to kill them in their own full bodied way.

This is the gleeful feeling I’m getting as all the snowflakes are shitting their pants on Facebook about the footballz and the uppity black men who should know their place in the world having the gall to ruin their sports by bringing politics into their patriotics. I just want to take this moment to metaphorically wiggle around gleefully in their special snowflake misery and invite you to join me if you’d like.