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Starting to see someone's true colors.

It's always sad when you find out that someone you genuinely like otherwise has views that you find utterly repugnant.

A bit of backstory: my cousin is really conservative (and we have fought about politics before), so I figured that his new wife be pretty conservative as well. But some of the things she's said previously have led me to think that maybe she's not as conservative as he is. In all fairness, she probably isn't.

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We went out for drinks while I was there (the "alcoholics", my teetotalling family called us, because we'd each had one drink), and somehow the conversation led to LGBTQ rights and things. She's apparently perfectly fine getting advice on lube and things from a gay man at a sex shop, but she thinks that gay marriage is just "too out there". She thinks that all gay men have been sexually abused and that's why they're gay. When I mentioned a class I took on the neuroscience of gender and sexuality for my biology requirement, she went off on "trannies who think they're a girl but aren't actually girls" and how they "expected the (Canadian) government to pay for a new vagina when that money could be better spent saving someone who was dying."

I looked at her agog, too shocked to even think of a retort. My cousin snorted about "crazy liberals," and I filled my mouth with my vodka drink to avoid getting into a fight. I also have little to no knowledge about the Canadian healthcare system, so I couldn't have held my own in a debate if it came down to it.

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I don't even know where this post is going, just that it's really too bad that she's thinks things like that and, perhaps, that's why she fits in so well with the rest of the family. I'm sad that I didn't say anything, even just to challenge her, but I have a feeling it would've just devolved into pointless anger.

How do y'all respond to comments like that? How do you debate "controversial issues" with family members and keep the peace? (Is that even possible? So far, I haven't seen evidence that it is...) How do you stay friendly with someone, knowing that they think that way?

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