Welcome To The Bitchery

Step inside the shame circle...

C’mon, it’s a holiday week! How much work are you doing, really?

So grab a seat and let’s talk about secret shames!

I’m not asking for your deepest, darkest, twistiest secret here. I’m talking about the lame, somewhat lighthearted yet embarrassing shit that you don’t like to tell people. Like your fear of certain foods. Or that one time you accidentally peed on your boyfriend’s suitcase (a story for another time). Or the weird dances that you rehearse in your bedrooms to Christina Aguilera songs.

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I’ll go first. On the outside, I am a chilled out, snarky, strident stoner feminist but on the inside? High-strung and DOMESTIC. AS. FUCK. Not in a tee-hee, cute Zooey Deschanel way (I’m shit at crafts, for one*) but a crazy, unrealistic way that makes no sense given my current life. As in, I have most of the vendors picked out for the wedding that will MAYBE happen in 2 years. As in, I am nowhere close to being ready to have children but I’m already looking up what daycare in my area to put them in. As in, my lofty adulthood dream is to one day host Thanksgiving dinner. Not to see the world, not to cure cancer. Nope. To one day be the lady carving the turkey, wearing some fab apron. That’s me!

What about you? Bring it in!

*SUPER shit at crafts. That’s my secret shame part 2. Can’t even cut in a damn straight line.

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