Today, in text conversations with the ex, I was on the receiving end of some gems like "You suck", and "be a better mother", and the one that has really gotten to me, "you are shit". I have felt like I was shit since our relationship imploded a couple of years ago. Been depressed and anxious and kind of a mess, and started feeling better over the last few months. And when I read that today, I went right back to those feelings. Maybe I am shit. Maybe I'm not a good mother.
But FUCK THAT noise, because I AM NOT SHIT. I am not shit because I can discuss my feelings calmly and rationally without resorting in insults and expletives. I am not shit just because I don't agree with his opinion. I am not shit. I am an imperfect human being who makes mistakes, but I don't have to belittle another person in order to make myself feel better about my own shortcomings. I'm OK. I am not shit. That's the story he tells about me, but I get to make my own story of my life. And conversations like this make me glad that he's not a part of that story anymore.