Got my stitches out. That hurt like a sonuvabitch. But it seems to be healing well. The doctor lectured me a bit about smoking affecting the healing, but she said she's happy with everything so far. BUT she won't let me return to work until May 5th. So I'm stuck at home with no means of transportation (and I'm not supposed to drive even if I had a car), and am still on restrictions so I can't even do productive stuff like vacuum or clean or pack.

I've been feeling bummed out the last week because I'm just sitting at home doing nothing and there's so many things I need to do to get ready for the move. I need to be at work closing out contacts and claims so that I can transfer to my new position. As it now stands, I will be back at work for only 1 week before my time off to move. I report to my NJ office on May 19th.

And I'm so depressed. I feel useless and fat and unproductive. MitsuBT has had to help me with everything from cleaning the litterbox to going grocery shopping. He's put a ton of miles on his car coming over every night after work to make me dinner and keep me company. And I know he is happy to do it, but I feel like such a burden.

I have issues with depression already, but I'm worried this is going to set off a serious depressive episode and I don't know what to do. I don't want to watch any more movies or read any more books or take any more naps. But I don't know what else to do. These are my last few weeks in Hawaii and I can't even go out and enjoy it.

:(