TW - general health talk which includes vague discussion of weight loss.

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So this might be my millionth plan to try to get healthy. BUT I THINK IT’S A GOOD ONE. It’s not really limited to health but it’s where I’m starting.

I’d like to lose weight, but moreover my health declined when I rapidly gained a lot of weight a few years ago, and I’ve really struggled to snap myself into better habits. I want to be healthy - I know some weight loss or at least re-compositioning of my body will probably come with that.

OK THIS IS MY THOUGHT:

It supposedly takes about 3 weeks to form a habit. I have decided to take teeny baby steps, one month at a time, so I can be more proactive in my life - health and other things. I think once I get some good habits as far as physical activity and the like solidified, I’ll turn to other magical things like keeping up with housework, cutting down my useless internetting time, keeping in touch with old friends, making art. I don’t think I have too many bad habits, just not enough good ones. And I’m supremely lazy.

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I started at the beginning of November. My first habit was to drink more water, something I am bad about (why?? so easy!!). I set an alarm to go off on my phone every three hours to tell me to finish my bottle of water (I have a Nalgene I keep with me). It only took about a week before that water bottle pretty much became a phantom limb that I need to have with me all the time. Now I am thirsty all the time and my urine is clear. Now, when the alarm goes off, I have already finished that bottle of water! Fuck you, water! I win.

Even though we’re in December, I still have that alarm going off on my phone because I don’t trust that it feels “natural” yet.

My December habit started to be: go on a walk for 20 minutes five times a week. I want to get myself used to scheduling physical activity. I can figure out an actual fitness plan later but I gotta start with a routine. I wanna build that infrastructure. I had two issues that have discouraged me and so I am re-adjusting this one: I have bad feet and the walking makes my feet hurt for the next day - really making me not want to walk again. Also, there is a lot of crime in my city right now and my husband can’t go with me every day. I have changed this to doing a pilates or yoga video in the morning before work, 5 days. Those two things make my feet feel a lot better, so for now, we’re doing that. The alarm on my phone when it wakes me says, “Fix your feet idiot.” I’ve only been doing it this week but it feels nice for these two days! Just like drinking water did. Fuck you, feet. I’ll get you.

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I have a lot of problems, it seems, with getting too obsessive or on a KICK and then I’m really pumped and excited for a minute then I start to kind of freak out, then hate myself for failing, and then totally give up. My husband pointed out that this plan gives me the opportunity to set up small victories which might help me keep my momentum.

I’m not sure what my January one will be yet but I’m thinking of starting with being strict about what one meal is every day. Cook it ahead, measure it out, whatever. Maybe I’ll start with breakfast- that one’s easy. I’ll move on to other meals as time goes on but JUST ONE AT A TIME!

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I just want to say as a general PSA, that I won’t host a discussion that in any way feels like shaming me or anyone else - zero tolerance! I want to discourage talk about pounds and numbers because it makes me feel obsessive and I know it can be triggering to ED survivors, but that can be nuanced so just be sensitive. :)