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When I moved halfway across the country, one of my friends said "I'm sure you'll find a hot cowboy!" I said - honestly, that hadn't even crossed my mind. I'm really just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

And yet, she persists. Today, it was - I hope there will be some cute men at school!

Girl, I'm 43. I'm at my highest weight in over a decade, a size 24. I'm not pretty. I get barked at on the street. I'm in a bad place in general. I would not want to date me right now. I'm not looking to date right now.


I don't know why it upsets me SO MUCH when she says these things. I mean, it would be nice if I had a life where I wasn't barked at on the street and men found me attractive. At one time, I wished for a life where I'd be married. But I don't.

uggh. I have too much to do today to get caught in this shame spiral.

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