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Doctors, women, and boobs TW: Medical stuff, children talk, infertility issues.

Stop the presses. Doctors having extreme and very vocal personal opinions about the choices women make with their bodies? That's some crazy shit right there. *sigh*

In the last year, I've made the decision that I want to get breast reduction surgery. My back is in constant pain, I have permanent grooves in my shoulders and neck from my bras and swimsuit tops, I'm uncomfortable all the time, can't afford to keep buying these insanely expensive bras, etc etc etc. I tried to exercise and see if losing weight would help the size. It didn't. I tried weird supplements my mother recommended. Surprise surprise, that didn't work either. So I did a lot of research on the surgery, spoke to the many people I know who have had it, and decided that it's the right step for me.

To make a long story with many boring details short, I live overseas in a place with few doctors and a horrible healthcare system; in order for me to make this happen and have insurance cover the majority of the surgery expenses, I need to get a referral from a doctor here, and have them send all info to the surgeon back home.


I've tried to talk to doctors here twice about it. The first time, I approached my regular GP, and thought that experience was bad enough — the guy didn't even want to discuss it with me, got visibly uncomfortable and almost bashful, and recommended that I speak to a different doctor at the local hospital. That was irritating as is, but okay.

The second time I attempted this conversation was this morning. I went to this doctor, who generally has a good reputation here, and tried to talk to him about breast reduction and how badly I want this surgery.

Cue a 15 minute long lecture from him, in which he actually said all of the following things to me:

"You're way too young to even consider making this type of decision for yourself, young lady" (I'm almost 26...certainly not a child).

"You women really think you want these types of procedures but you never look into what the actual recovery and side effects are"

"I have a feeling you're doing this because you want to look more attractive, not because it's a bad enough pain issue. Well, you don't need to worry about that"

"You know you're not going to be able to breast feed after this type of procedure?" (that is incorrect and such out of date info)


After I informed him that I am not actually planning on having children and so that wouldn't be a factor for me, he came in with the following gems:

"You're way too young to say that. You think you know that now, but I can 100% guarantee that you're going to be having kids."

"If you were ten years older and were coming to me with this, I MIGHT take it seriously, but right now, I know you're going to be having kids, and you should"

"This is the natural way that life works. You meet someone who you want to be with, and you have kids. It's normal and it's what you're going to do".

"Women find their value in having children. You might not feel like it now, but later on, you'll find that your value will come from reproducing and having a family."

"You'll be happy you didn't get this procedure when you have a little girl to go shopping with or a little boy to play ball with"

"My wife didn't think she wanted kids. Then we got married and all of that changed, as I knew it would. We have a daughter who is also very well endowed, and I can tell you I wouldn't let her get this procedure either"


I'm just...I can't even with this. I was shocked and pissed off, and I just zipped the lip and left. Now I wish I had said something to this guy.

I am a grown ass woman. I am capable of making decisions for me and my body. I have done research and am actually very well aware of the process, recovery, and potential side effects, which he would know if he stopped being a condescending prick for 3 seconds and allowed me to speak.


And? HE DOESN'T GET TO DICTATE MY REPRODUCTIVE CHOICES. I don't give a shit about your personal beliefs, do your job, give me a professional opinion and leave your personal shit out of it, and that's it. If I wanted to talk to someone about my reproductive choices, it would be my partner, or friends, or a therapist. Not a physician. He's there to examine my breasts and my back, and discuss the physical aspects of this procedure with me. He's not there to give me unwanted opinions on my value as a woman. I do not care if he thinks that I look attractive enough as is, or what he would advise his daughter to do, or how his wife changed her mind about kids. I care about getting a real professional opinion from a doctor who cares about what I want for myself.

And the kicker is we are 99% sure I can't have kids. Because I've got severe endometriosis and my gynecologist has told me this. So thanks, for making me feel like all my value is tied up in something that is very unlikely to happen for me anyway.


I'm two for two — both attempts to make this process start have been shut down by male doctors who refuse to even discuss this with me. I'm really frustrated. And my back hurts.

No mainpage, not that that would happen. Sorry for the rambling. It's been a shitty day, and it's not even noon yet.

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