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I was reading this story about the girl who got punished for wearing sneakers to her graduation, on the MP, and wanted to talk about it (I’m banned on Jez so...).

As for the linked story, I do think the girl in question was kind of intentionally pushing it, but of course, dress codes are wildly sexist so I’m kind of in favor of everyone pushing those boundaries anyway.


I also wanted to tell a couple stories from my graduation and my high school.

At my high school graduation, we sat alphabetically (very big public school), and I sat two seats away from my then boyfriend, with only his twin brother between us. He kept telling me he was going to do something, and I dunno, I wanted to be controlling (I used to be different!) and I kept whisper yelling at him. His brother whisper yelled at both of us, and a school administrator came and gave him and his brother a warning (not me, because the guys were “bad kids” and I was historically a “good kid” - but really I just got away with shit easily).

I didn’t know what “warning” meant in that context, because, I mean, come on. We’re graduating. Well, what it meant, was that when my BF went tumbling down the stairs after he received his diploma, crashing into his brother and making a human snowball to the bottom, they both got kicked out and the school tried to withhold their DEGREES. Not just their diplomas.

To this day, I am not sure whether BF did that on purpose (he insisted he didn’t...), since he said he was going to do something dramatic, but his face got TOTALLY busted up. This all happened behind me (note, I would have been at the bottom of the snowball if it’d happened like 2 seconds earlier).


Three years later, my brother’s class pulled a senior prank. It was pretty standard practice but I don’t think my class did it (or, ours was small and I was not included and never heard about it). My brother was kind of a cool kid, but was smart too, so he hung around with the nerds half the time, but had that “invincible jock” instinct about him. (hooray, stereotypes!) He convinced the nerds to construct a series of pulleys and levers to put all this very huge outdoor furniture on the roof of the science building, which was only one story.


They succeeded and never got caught. I was very proud.

The class before me: I hung out with a bunch of the art kids from the class ahead of me, and (holy doxxing batman) we had a building at my school called “Bates Hall” which had a big sign in all caps. They managed to EXACTLY match the lettering and hang letters to turn it into “MASTURBATES HALL”, which was the first thing people saw driving in to our “senior assembly” (some weird pre-graduation thing a fwe days before that parents came to).


My babiest baby baby brother is graduating this week (by the grace of god, I tell you), and at his senior assembly, he got “most clueless.” I don’t think they did rude superlatives when I was there, but in a group text, our other brother said he got “most likely to be on Jerry Springer.” Because this brother is the baby, my mom actually went to this assembly, and she hadn’t gone to the older kids’ because of too many babies at home. So this was her first experience. She’s horrified that my baby bro would be considered clueless, but...he is.


I imagine, if there were mean superlatives given at mine, I probably wasn’t a target because I kind of faded into the background. Hung with the art kids, the smart kids, and the nerdy athletes (you know, like cross-country runners, not football players).

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